I know some people may think that once the bedroom door shuts, that modesty is off the table. Why should it be? Respect for ourselves and for our husbands does not end in the bedroom. In fact, that is the one place we should value ourselves the most. What you wear to sleep should be something that you and your husband are comfortable with.
Modesty in the bedroom does not have to mean a nightgown buttoned at the neck and wrists, especially not in this heat! I remember my grandmother used to wear always wear a zippered nightgown that looked quite uncomfortable. We shouldn’t have to sacrifice comfort in what we wear to sleep; but certainly we can find balance between modesty and allure. Here are some things to remember:
- Do you and your husband feel uncomfortable about certain pieces of lingerie? That’s okay; lingerie may not be right for your marriage.
- Have you ever worn something that made you feel ashamed? You should feel no shame in your bedroom; talk to your husband about compromising.
- Sooner or later, a child will need your attention in the middle of the night. Have something close by to throw on if you feel the need.
There are many options that you can wear in the bedroom that are comfortable and feminine. I have seen many beautiful, frilly nightgowns that would be appropriate and aren’t long and confining. Somehow a gothic novel comes to mind when wearing one! Pajamas can be nice as well; flannel is great for the winter and there are a number of cooler fabrics for the warmer months. I’ve actually seen some really cute short sets that are flirtatious, yet modest.
Ultimately, it is up to you and what you feel comfortable wearing. I’m still working on what that is for me. I was wondering what other people thought about the subject. If a bedroom is private, should modesty really be an issue when it’s just you and your husband? That’s something to think about.
How do you feel about modesty in the bedroom?
Usually I sleep in a t-shirt, nursing bra(no underwire) and undies and keep my pj pants right next to the bed. I can’t sleep with them tangling in the sheets but like them handy in case the dogs need out at night or such. I will continue this practice as it works well for me.
I have actually done that a lot with the pants. That’s one reason I can’t wear the long gowns–they always tangle up in my sleep!
Nope, no modesty in our bedroom. It’s our room and the children are forbidden from being in there alone. They knock and wait for an answer. The door is locked until we go to sleep.
And we also feel we shouldn’t hide everything from the children. We are prudish, if they happen to see lingerie, or what not, so be it. They should know this is normal in a healthy marriage. If we can’t model a healthy marriage how will they know what to have?
Unfortunately, we don’t have a locking bedroom so we just have to be vigilant.
You are so right about not hiding anything from children. We need to let our children know that there is no shame in it, but at the same time, teach them that some things are private.
I wasn’t satisfied with my original draft–I thought my point might not get across well. But I did a little rewrite that I hope helps.
Oh and that’s why they make robes. We hang ours behind our door. Grab it on the way out the door.
Oh how I miss my robe! I had a nice terrycloth one that I lost in a move and have felt too loyal to buy a new one!
Headant… a lock is easy to add. A new door knob. Or a latch of some sort. I also think it’s all about training. Do not knock, unless you are bleeding, or someone else is bleeding or hurt. Kids can occupy themselves for a while, a video/dvd etc. The middle of the night is something else, the door is never locked overnight. And most of the time it’s kept ajar a little bit too. The kids know if the door is open (even ajar) it’s okay to come in. No need to knock etc.
I should say, I’m not advocating leaving lingerie around or anything. But it’s okay if they see it. It’s not like they are seeing you in it. It’s an article of clothing. But they should know it’s normal and healthy to see their parents kiss, cuddle, hold hands, or even see a swat on the bottom. We should be role models of a healthy marriage. We want our kids to have a good and healthy marriage too. And what better way than to model that?
Well, I don’t have children, so I guess this modesty idea doesn’t apply to me, although modesty in a marriage does… Between husband and wife, I don’t feel that need of modesty. The one person I feel free to be me with is the man I married. If that means kittenish look one night, romance novel, long lacy nightgowns another, comfy pjs another… well, it’s all good.
Now, if I’m on a family vacation, I still bring the playful nightclothes, but I bring a robe too, because some things are only meant for hubby to see
An interesting and fun topic.