She cornered me in the cold section. She looked up from her seat in her mart cart and told me that I had a very well behaved son. I felt like looking around to see who she was talking to. Those who have gone grocery shopping with us would tell a different story. In fact, C had “acted up” recently in the same store, running around and flailing his arms.
I thanked the woman for her comments and went about my business, or so I thought.
“I could just hit some parents!” she said in a huff.
What?? However, she didn’t need to elaborate further. I guessed from her exasperation whom she was talking about. We had passed him in the produce section, clapping his hands and vocalizing loudly. He had seemed happy to me and I remember smiling at him; but I guess the woman didn’t appreciate the fact that she could now hear him on the opposite side of the store. Maybe she wasn’t used to being around children with special needs.
The woman went on to criticize the parents of the boy. It was their fault he was making so much noise. It had been obvious that the boy had special needs–maybe his actions were involuntary. She no right to judge him or his parents! She didn’t know the whole story! I wanted to tell her all this, but I stayed silent. I tried to ignore her rantings and continue shopping.
When I went to check out, I saw the boy and his family in line. I went to stand behind them; we made small talk. When I was leaving, I told them to have a nice night. Parents of special needs children need to be noticed just as much as their children. I slunk out of the store, guilty over not defending their son.
How many times have you been in situations where you wanted to say something, but didn’t? And you really needed to? It’s time that we all put words into action. Join Katrina of Kat’s Cafe as she brings Autism Awareness by Action. Autism affects children and adults every day, not just one month a year. Join Katrina on her Facebook page as she brings action to the autism movement .
WONDERFUL post! Absolutely spot on too – such a great, not-so-easy but still easy way to act to promote real autism awareness in action!
Great post my friend, great post!
Next time I encounter a situation like this, I will have to remember how I would feel if someone said that one of my children.
Great post and tough subject. I have a hard time speaking up when I want to. I don’t know that I would have said something too. I do make sure not to judge the parents whose kids are screaming or tantruming in public because you don’t know what’s going on and you wouldn’t want to be judged if it were your kid.
My kids especially act up when they are tired. People just don’t understand.
Beautiful post! I work in education and see things like this a lot. My son is also very tall for his age and people often assume that he is older than he is so he sometimes gets looks. Sometimes I just want to say to these people, “You don’t know him!” He looks three but isn’t even a year and a half. Besides, what he did have some delays? I wish people would just be supportive or mind their own business!
Great post! And don’t feel bad. Not everyone is outspoken and not everyone would have said something. Ten years ago – I would not have said anything. Now? I would’ve told the old hag to shut it. (A lot has changed me in 10 years!) No one blames you for not standing up for the little guy and you shouldn’t feel guilty. Some people are outspoken, some are not. I think what really matters is that you did not join the judging!
I used this to jumpstart the first blogging challenge over at the Cafe – check it out when you have a moment! Such a great post and something all of us have dealt with!
Thanks, Katrina! It’s so important for us all to stop judging and stand up for these sweet kids.
What a sweet post, I’m guilty of letting things go too often to avoid drama and getting myself in trouble, but I do feel guilty afterwards, now that I am older I make more of a stance but still find myself holding my tongue because some characters are too volatile, but yeah that lady had no right, parenting is a hard job!
thank you so much for this post. i have a son with autism and i have learned to just block out others – the glares, the comments – when we go out in public. i know that they do not fully understand where we are coming from and what he is going through, being constantly bombarded with confusing stimuli that can sometimes be overwhelming. what matters to me, is my son. i need to make sure his needs are met and his world is expanded. the more interaction he receives, the better for him. he is actually a very loving, sociable kid who says hi to everyone, and i do mean everyone that he sees. it doesn’t even bother him when some people stare back and don’t say hello in return. i can tell you that taking the time to say hello in line probably meant the world to that parent. for a moment she didn’t feel invisible or shunned by her own community just for being a parent and that support and acceptance is what is needed.
The worst thing about it is that no one considered how that boy might be taking all this in. Did he pick up on the woman’s attitude as she passed him?
Your son reminds me of a boy–a man now, but still a boy at heart–I know who always loved to talk about music. He always moved to whatever music was playing and would talk your ear off about the marching bands he liked in the Mardi Gras parades. He was great to talk to–so enthusiastic!
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