When I was young, I believed that if I waited, God would lead my chosen partner to me. Then, I developed a crush on a very sweet, but shy co-worker. I’m not sure if he returned my affections or not; but he would blush around me so who knows. All I remember is that he never said anything to me; eventually I got tired of waiting around for my soulmate. Another co-worker asked me out and I said yes, thinking there was no harm in starting to date.
Anything But Christian Dating
I was wrong. By settling for the first person to ask me out–and subsequent people I dated–I lost a lot of my self respect. The guy I had crushed on may have felt the same way; but at least he was not vulgar and he didn’t put down my family. I dated a string of fellows who were less than ideally matched to my interests, values, and faith. I hate to say it; but it eventually led me away from the church for several years.
Looking into Christian Dating
After the breakdown of a long term relationship, (But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. 1 Corinthians 7:15) I began to think about dating again. My first attempts were less than memorable and I decided to take things in my own hands. I began to realize that I had value that I could give as a wife and mother; but I as I currently had no prospects for marriage, I had to seek them out on my own.
Places to Meet a Potential Christian Spouse
- Church I was still searching for a church home and most of the men at the ones I had attended were already taken.
- Grocery Store You hear a lot about meeting bachelors while grocery shopping. I had worked at a grocery store and met enough of those already.
- Christian Events There were not a lot of these locally, so that idea was a bust.
I was really at a loss at what to do next. Then my sister mentioned that a friend of hers had tried online dating. A friend of mine encouraged me to put my profile online; that’s just what I did. I chose to focus on Christian dating sites, as other sites could have some unscrupulous people using them.
Christian Dating Works
The first couple of sites I tried didn’t really work for me. The people I talked to were either out of state or even out of the country. Being a college student, I wasn’t really willing to locate. Also, some of the individuals did not belong on a Christian site. I decided to give the site ChristianCafe.com a try. At first, I was having even less luck than the other sites. I was starting to become concerned when my free trial only had a day left on it, with not even a single email. But that email did come… and he was local. The rest, is a story for another day…
Things to Remember When Dating Online
- Exchange emails for a few weeks and ask icebreaker questions.
- Move from email to phone conversations before deciding to meet in person
- When you meet in person, make sure you choose a public area.
- Tell someone where you are going when you go to meet the person.
It’s really hard dating in today’s fast paced world. There’s nothing wrong with slowly things down and being choosy about whom you choose to date. You want to make sure that you find the person God intends for you.
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